My mind is a rush with so much to say and the journey has not official begun. I am at a very interesting time of my life. The goals I have set have not all been met and where I thought my life as a person and as a leader of a church would be has also fallen short. My first inclination is to start the blame game and if you know me that always begins with me. Then as we move further outside the circle it is easy to start adding other’s into he mix.
The reality is I am ultimately to blame. I am at an age when you no longer can blame your parent’s or even past generations. I have and do make choices that have effected not only my life but the lives of everyone around me. My activity or inactivity has also been the cause of much of what I will be unpacking along the way. There are of course choices that others have made that I have personally and professionally had to deal with but even then my reaction or non-reaction still places me in control of the majority of the situation I find myself in.
The title of this blog is Theoskairos. I have joined two Greek words. Theos meaning God and Kairos meaning of a moment of indeterminate time in which everything happens. So theologically speaking I am in a God orchestrated time that is not exactly chronological in nature but an amalgamous time that has congealed past-present-and future. This kairos and my subjective experiences have all been orchestrated by God. My freewill has caused many twist and turns but God’s plan for me has never changed. There have been times I have been a cheering fan and completely embraced God’s design and purpose as well as times I have with all my might fought His plan to manipulate my own version for my own desires. I am no different than Adam cowardly watching the one he cherished being seduced by the serpent, waiting to see the outcome so he could choose what will be in his favor. O he cared for Eve but he cared for his own selfish outcome more than his God-given protective assignment of her welfare.
As you read this transparent account please realize this is all from my perspective. I am not in any way trying to say all my regurgitated experiences are perfect history. What I write will be my existential angst slathered with the Holy Spirits guidance. I am seeking my own freedom and healing from the past, and present so my future is unimpaired by either.
To fully understand and see this spiritual exercise as not a purely selfish endeavor you have to know my personal mission statement which has also become the first church I planted mission statement.
Transformed by God to Transform our World.
Every lasting transformation has to begin with God. Like in Psalms 51: 4 which states against You and only You have I sinned. From the garden to today ultimately the One who Created us is the One whom we are rebelling against. Until that relationship is made right then nothing else can be right. The idea then is that now even every plan I have is off kilter because they are all from a rebellious sinful mind. Until my mind is Renewed like we see in Romans 12: 1-2 then I am actually fighting against God’s cosmic plan for the entire universe to be put right again.
The whole idea of sin put’s us in a place that my white lie caused the holocaust. We as humans downplay what is termed sin but in God’s original plan the slightest sin caused a rift in the entirety of creation. The eating of the fruit was more than free will being exercised. It was believing the lie that God was keeping something good from us. That God did not have our best in mind and we as humans saying we will choose for ourselves. That we are our own determiner of right and wrong and not God hence we are now our own god.
So the journey I am on is to not seek salvation for I have asked God to forgive me of my rebellion but to go deeper into sanctification. Asking God to further cleanse me, heal me and renew me till I am transformed into my original intended state. This does not mean the opportunity to sin is not ever before me. This does not mean I am perfect for I have grossly sinned. It means I am now further seeking to be set apart as a distinct individual created with distinctive personality, quirks, and ways to have those used to help in the universal birthing of God’s kingdom on this earth.
Someone once said you are either part of the problem or the solution.
Becoming a Christian to me means I am choosing to be part of the cosmic solution which benefits everything not just everyone. Christians are the chief proponents of being “green” because we should all be about God’s plan of getting us back to the garden.
I hope you will enjoy this strange trip and be able to glean something of value from my ramblings. So I guess there is nothing more to say than