Galatians 5 Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand! Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you.
My journey to Freedom has been exciting. I soon realized that coming home immediately the old things of life try to invade us. The old standards and allowing unhealthy relationships and expectations also are the first areas freedom is attacked.
Every relationship Must have boundaries. I believe the majority of those who we perceive as taking our freedom did not mean to do this. Honestly the only reason this ever happened was because we allowed it to happen. So why did we allow this to happen. How did we loose ourselves?
I believe this happens for several reasons.
1: Fear of being unloved. We all desire to be loved. But in our quest for love do we truly open ourselves to people who have our best interest in mind? Many times we will open ourselves to very unhealthy people and knowingly seek their love instead of seeking out those who may tell us the truth or have healthy boundaries. This falls into the area of how we see ourselves and what we think we deserve.
2: Fear of hurting others. We don’t want to disappoint others so we sacrifice ourselves and our personal freedom. When we do this we allow someone to hold us hostage emotionally and worst of all spiritually. Speaking the truth and keeping our freedom is a point of personal integrity. Is truth more important than the pain. usually we put off pain. This almost always leads to deeper and greater pain down the road.
3: Feelings of powerlessness. This is the greatest lie. Our powerlessness happens when we believe the lie that we have no control. If we are Christians than God is the ultimate power in our life. Someone can take my life but they cannot take my Spirit. Matthew 10 28 “Don’t be bluffed into silence by the threats of bullies. There’s nothing they can do to your soul, your core being. Save your fear for God, who holds your entire life—body and soul—in his hands.
4: sacrificing our own health to help others.
5: Guilt and shame
6: lack of self confidence and identity.
These are all areas where freedom is surrendered. We can’t even say it was taken because we freely give it away!
As I sit on a balcony in Galveston, Texas I feel free. I have talked with different pastors about this subject and how guarding this freedom is crucial to their spiritual health.
So boundaries may be a way of keeping people out but is there a way of keeping people in?
I believe something that was said about hiring would revolutionize the way many people Christian or not should function in their relationships.
Hire slow fire fast!
Hire slow: Do not rush into putting people in important places. It is better to take your time on the front end. Usually we hire someone because we have a hole and a crisis is developing. These are all the wrong reasons to let people into your most trusted places. We should instead look around and see who already shares our vision and is moving in that direction on their own. We shouldn’t have to motivate people to do something. You don’t have to motivate people to do the things they are passionate about. So if someone isn’t already pushing ahead then they shouldn’t even make the list as a leader.
With this said just because they are a mover and a shaker does not mean you share the same vision. Take time to not just hear their words about vision but see their actions. What is the fruit produced? They may not have the success others desire but the fruit should at least look the same. The whole iron sharpens iron will produce better fruit down the road but you have to make sure your both on the same page. Fighting this battle will just result in hurt feelings and splits and division between you and people you care about. Avoid this on the front end. They may be an incredible person but if your going in different directions keep looking.
Fire fast: The longer you wait the more painful this is for the whole organization. Confusion will be built and deeper hurts will manifest. Honestly the avoidance is cowardly. I say this from experience. I can hide behind my desire to see people healed and whole to keep someone. However if I have a leader who is not willing to be on the same journey of healing and I avoid the hard job of confronting and redirecting then I am being unloving to the rest of the church. The church will not understand what has happened and deep hurt will be the byproduct.
Again you won’t have to fire fast if you take the time on the front end to hire slow.
In our personal relationships I see singles in desperation. They are so hungry for a relationship they compromise everything for one. Then they are usually with someone who causes them to compromise their faith and moral standards. You can loose yourself. When we are sexually active early, when we live together, when we hide who we are to make them like us, when we do things against our beliefs this always leads to a weak foundation that has tragedy and pain written all over it.
Hire slow: Take time to see who the person really is. Do they want you to compromise your beliefs? Do they uphold your passions? Do they like the things you like? Everything will be revealed. And if they are not the right one you haven’t created an emotional tie by sleeping with them. You just maintain a friendship.
If you break up and can’t be friends then you have done it all wrong!
This goes into friendships. The way to keep your freedom is to guard from letting people in too fast and compromising your beliefs to quickly.
I am today regaining my freedom as an individual, a husband, brother, son, friend and pastor!